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Why Asians Are Supposedly 'Cuter' (Scientific Breakdown)
You may find yourself justifying his or her bad behavior or totally overlooking signs that this person may not make a loving, supportive long-term partner. We asked relationship experts to share some of the less obvious red flags that people in relationships should pay more attention to. Your partner gaslights you, causing you to doubt yourself and your perception of reality. A master gaslighter facilitates this process in nuanced and subtle ways so it is not obvious what is happening. Gaslighting is damaging because not only is a partner lying, but they are messing with your reality, which adds an extra layer of betrayal and jeopardizes your mental health. Learn to trust your gut; if you feel strongly that something is amiss, you are probably right! Your partner refuses to make an effort to spend time with your family and friends. If you notice that you are always making excuses for why your partner is never free to join you in social settings, this may be cause for an honest conversation. Your partner is rude or mean to strangers. Harsh treatment of strangers can say a lot about how they view others. Your partner has trouble apologizing. I can admit my mistakes. Your partner is weirdly possessive or secretive about their cell phone. But another more subtle cause for concern is a partner who is overly possessive of their phone. It may not signal anything nefarious, but it does signal a disconnect in the relationship. As time progresses, we sometimes lose the motivation to go out of our way to do little things to please our partner. Constant positive regard increases relationship satisfaction and reinforces good will. I treated a woman who developed painful blisters on her skin if she peeled her own oranges. When I first met her, she was dating a man who, if she asked him to peel her an orange, would either do it in an angry manner or refuse to do it at all. She eventually broke up with him and stopped treatment. Seven months later, she called me and told me she was engaged to someone new. She told me that she reluctantly asked him to peel her an orange, assuming he would get annoyed. Does this relationship cause you to miss work, diss friends and family, or feel uncomfortable where sexuality is involved? Many chalk up boundary violations to passion early in relationships, but repeated overstepping may show a pattern of disrespect. Repeated violations are a bad sign. Your partner makes fun of you in front of other people, even after you asked him or her not to. Your partner is in a bad mood more often than not. And after a long hard day, we might not be our sparkly best. For many of us, being hungry can look a lot like being angry until we get some fuel in our tank. Your partner constantly talks about themselves and rarely shows interest in your life. This red flag is partially about their self-centeredness and partially about your teaching them that only their stories are important. Are your thoughts and opinions valued? Do you feel heard and understood?
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