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Making Lifestyle Changes 1 Relax and encourage yourself. Anxiety and self-doubt are major mood killers, so try to be optimistic. Approaching sex with confidence, self respect, and a positive attitude can make all the difference for both you and your partner. You can deal with this! Trying to reach climax as quickly as possible during masturbation can train your body to expect a quick finish. Exercising the muscles that control ejaculation can help you last longer. To identify these muscles, stop urination midstream and tighten the muscles that prevent passing gas. To exercise them, tighten them for 3 seconds, relax for 3 seconds, then repeat 5 to 10 times. As you strengthen the muscles, aim for 3 sets of 10 repetitions per day. Try to only tighten those muscles that help control urination and passing gas. Breathe normally as you exercise, and avoid holding your breath. Alcohol and other substances can cause premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and other performance issues. Avoid drugs and alcohol before sex and try to cut down your overall use. If you typically date around, consider settling down with someone. Being intimate with one person can help you become more comfortable and confident during sex. Give your partner some attention without stimulating yourself or letting them touch your sensitive parts. Taking your time can help you last longer, so try to prioritize the journey over the destination. Approach sex like a sensual dance instead of just a series of rapid movements. Changing positions can help you refocus your attention and reset your excitement level. Further, trying new positions can teach your body to get out of its normal routine. Slowing your breathing as you feel close to climaxing can help shut down the orgasm reflex. Take a slow, deep breath and expand your belly as you inhale. Hold your breath for 2 or 3 seconds, then exhale slowly. When you feel close, try to distract yourself by thinking about something non-sexual, like work, sports, a TV show, or school. Temporarily diverting your attention can help you relax and slow down. You still want to be present and stay focused on pleasing your partner. The stop and start method involves withdrawing from your partner when you feel close. Take a break for about 30 seconds, then start having sex again. Repeat the stopping and starting technique until you and your partner are both ready to climax. To use the squeeze technique, withdraw from your partner when you feel close. You or your partner then gently squeeze the part of the penis where the underside of the head meets the shaft. Squeeze for a few seconds, then wait about 30 seconds before starting to have sex again. Method Using Products and Medications 1 Wear a thicker condom. Check your local drugstore for climax control condoms. You can find topical numbing agents online or at your local drugstore. Taking a low-dose SSRI a few hours before sex could help delay orgasm. Sexual performance can be a sensitive subject. Bring up the topic by telling your partner that you value them and the intimacy you share. Rather, tell them that you want to work on your sex life as a team. I know we can work together to build our physical and emotional intimacy. Ask your partner what they think might work. Do your best to keep the conversation honest but low-pressure. Have patience, try out new techniques, and see what works best for you and your partner. Performance issues can put a strain on a relationship. Couples counseling could help you and your partner sort out complex emotions and explore issues that might be interfering with intimacy.
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