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Straight people with HOCD fear they may become gay or are secretly gay ; gay people may fear becoming straight. In addition to learning to understand their own sexuality, gay teens must navigate complex situations and pressures that may not be relevant for straight teens. They must also deal with opinionated parents, friends, and others who sometimes hold differing views about sexuality. Anxiety, distress, and confusion are often part of this process. HOCD is not unique to teens but can occur at any age. Straight individuals with homosexual OCD experience obsessive fears about the possibility of being gay. Their HOCD obsessions often consist of unwanted thoughts, impulses , or images that uncontrollably pop into consciousness. However, the same basic elements are directly applicable to all people with obsessive doubts about their sexual orientation. People with HOCD worry that they might secretly be gay or might become gay, despite not questioning their sexuality in the past. Prior to the onset of HOCD, they might have had few doubts about their sexual orientation. Many people with homosexual OCD also have a history of having enjoyed heterosexual relationships in the past. The occurrence of this unwanted thought then causes them to question their sexual identity and reanalyze previous experiences, in light of the possibility that they might possibly be gay. However, due to the way OCD is strengthened and reinforced by rituals, these attempts ultimately backfire. The result is that some people with HOCD become extremely disabled. In some cases, individuals with HOCD experiment with homosexual relationships or adopt gay lifestyles because of doubt about their heterosexuality. Moreover, they continue to experience doubt and uncertainty about their sexuality. Still others worry about acting on unwanted sexual impulses. What maintains intrusive sexual obsessions? Faulty beliefs about sexuality and sexual orientation perpetuate fear about the possible consequences of resisting OCD-related compulsions. This is harmful because every time an unwanted thought is avoided or neutralized, it is reinforced and becomes more likely to become activated again in the future. Avoidance and rituals thus prevent the occurrence of corrective learning experiences that would ultimately cause these unwanted thoughts to decrease in frequency and intensity. Rituals associated with homosexual OCD include mental rituals and behavioral rituals. Re-analyzing previous romantic or sexual experiences to make sure that one is straight. Mentally comparing self to straight people vs. Repeatedly redirecting attention away from same sex individuals to opposite sex individuals. Scanning the environment to identify people who might be gay. Replacing unwanted gay thoughts with violent thoughts. Washing rituals hands, etc. Asking other people if they ever find same sex people attractive. Asking other people for reassurance about your sexuality. Interacting in a way that is aggressive, insulting, or disrespectful to gay people. In some cases, adopting a gay lifestyle because it feels like it is inevitable due to OCD doubt. However, finding this lifestyle distressing and unwanted. In some cases, dating same sex individuals or engaging in homosexual acts to figure out the meaning of these experiences, but finding these activities distressing and unwanted. Avoiding things that have been touched by gay men, lesbians, or bisexual people. Avoiding physical contact with same sex individuals handshaking, hugs. Avoiding being alone with same sex individuals. Avoiding conversations with same sex individuals. Avoiding places frequented by gay people. Avoiding public restrooms, locker rooms, and other situations potentially involving same sex nudity. Dressing in a stereotypically masculine or feminine way e. Avoiding music by gay individuals or movies featuring gay actors or characters. Avoiding eye contact with same sex individuals. When in public, trying to avoid looking at the groin, backside, or chest areas of same sex individuals. Avoiding masturbation due to fear about an unwanted thought occurring. Avoiding TV shows with gay characters or gay themes. Avoiding purple items, rainbows, and other symbols associated with homosexuality. Avoiding androgynous or flamboyant clothing. Manipulating your voice so that it sounds more masculine or feminine. Not eating in public in case food was prepared by a gay person. Every thought means something. If I turned out to be gay, it would ruin my life. Straight people should only have straight thoughts. Gay people should only have gay thoughts. Every time I feel sexually aroused, there must be a reason for it. Feeling sexual arousal must mean that I want to have sex with this person. Maybe the only way I can be free of these thoughts is to act on them. If you have homosexual OCD, what-if questions about sexuality are ultimately unanswerable in the way that OCD demands they be answered. The best strategy for reducing your symptoms will be based on exposure and response prevention for HOCD. Exposures for HOCD are built around purposefully seeking out situations you avoid and then resisting mental and behavioral rituals. Developing a good exposure hierarchy can be confusing, so find a good HOCD therapist to guide you. Moreover, your HOCD therapist will also help you stay consistent in the goal of learning to live with uncertainty. That person is not an HOCD specialist. These types of promises are inconsistent with how effective HOCD treatment actually works. Although everyone with HOCD wants to get rid of their gay thoughts, thought suppression techniques will be ineffective in the long-run. To understand why, or to read more about my general treatment approach in my South Florida Palm Beach psychological practice, see my posts on sexual obsessions , thought control and thought suppression. Living with HOCD or another sexual orientation obsession? Gay sex with bestfriend

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8 Comments

  1. Faulty beliefs about sexuality and sexual orientation perpetuate fear about the possible consequences of resisting OCD-related compulsions. However, due to the way OCD is strengthened and reinforced by rituals, these attempts ultimately backfire. Manipulating your voice so that it sounds more masculine or feminine.

  2. Moreover, your HOCD therapist will also help you stay consistent in the goal of learning to live with uncertainty.

  3. Developing a good exposure hierarchy can be confusing, so find a good HOCD therapist to guide you. Carla, my mother, has been my lover, for exactly 4 days now. Straight individuals with homosexual OCD experience obsessive fears about the possibility of being gay.

  4. However, the same basic elements are directly applicable to all people with obsessive doubts about their sexual orientation. Avoiding public restrooms, locker rooms, and other situations potentially involving same sex nudity.

  5. Avoiding purple items, rainbows, and other symbols associated with homosexuality. Mentally comparing self to straight people vs. People with HOCD worry that they might secretly be gay or might become gay, despite not questioning their sexuality in the past.

  6. To understand why, or to read more about my general treatment approach in my South Florida Palm Beach psychological practice, see my posts on sexual obsessions , thought control and thought suppression. Moreover, they continue to experience doubt and uncertainty about their sexuality.

  7. Avoiding conversations with same sex individuals. Avoiding places frequented by gay people. Asking other people for reassurance about your sexuality.

  8. Avoiding physical contact with same sex individuals handshaking, hugs. If you have homosexual OCD, what-if questions about sexuality are ultimately unanswerable in the way that OCD demands they be answered. Avoiding eye contact with same sex individuals.

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