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Feb How exactly do you go from dating someone casually to having a serious relationship with them? Is it some secret, LSD fuelled desert ritual? Do you just… ask them? Why Do You Commit? To make yourself a better partner, think about your past relationships. What qualities made you want to get serious with your date? What things turned you off? Being self-aware of how others perceive you is a huge advantage in dating and relationships. Sure, acting unavailable might work at the casual dating stage, but what happens after that? How long before insecurities, neediness, and jealousy creep in? Instead of acting unavailable, be independent. Hang out with your friends a couple times a week. Go to the gym. Play the sport you like or pursue one of your interests. Learn an instrument, a language, or take dancing lessons. Value yourself and your own time. The main thing here is neediness is a killer. Insecure people push for serious relationships for the security it brings, and people can sense that. Why bend over backwards to make someone you barely know happy? Let them earn it. A prime example of this is a guy who brings a girl flowers on the first date. A nice gesture, but how do you know she deserves them? What if she ends up being a total bitch? Some women might be wondering if having sex too soon is scaring guys away. Holding off to avoid judgement is ridiculous — how can two people have sex at the same time but only one of them does it too soon? When you go on a date, what do you think the purpose is? The best way to look at a date is a chance to have fun. This keeps things… well, fun. People like being around fun, low-pressure people with no expectations. Focus on having fun, enjoy the mystery, and going from casual to serious will happen naturally. Unscheduled Time Together When you start hanging out together without making plans in advance, you know things are getting serious. If you make it past the gauntlet of scrutiny from their friends, things are well on their way. Dating for Months, but Not Serious? Here are the most common questions and my answers to each. There are two explanations for this. If you drift apart, you know they were never going to commit and you saved yourself time, trouble, and heart ache. Texting a lot, we hook up often, they want to meet my friends. This scenario usually happens when someone wants to get serious but has a fear of commitment. No one I date wants to get serious!! You need to try some wrong.
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