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CHEESY PICK UP LINES
Many jokes contains naughty, racist or condescending punchlines. Here is a list of clean jokes that even your kids can read without the need to worry. You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees? What do you call an alligator in a vest? A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He takes 26 dimes out of his wallet and throws them all on the ground. A week later, the same man enters the bar. He orders a coffee again but this time he pays with a five dollar bill. The bartender smelled an opportunity for revenge so when he brings the coffee, he throws 48 nickels on the ground as change. The man drinks his coffee leaving the change on the ground. A few minutes later he throws two dimes on the floor and orders a second coffee. What do you call a pile of kittens A meowntain. Where does the General keep his armies? What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? My farts never smell and are always silent. What do you call bears with no ears? Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds. Why dont blind people skydive? Because it scares the crap out of their dogs. A senior citizen called her husband during his drive home. A Chimp off the old block. I went in to a pet shop. Great clean jokes I bumped into an old school friend at the store today. He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports cars. Is she a stunner? Two gold fish are in a tank. I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it. What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller. A burglar broke into a home. He asked the parrot if he was the one talking. What do lawyers wear to court? A Dell Rolling in the Deep. Why did the belt get arrested? He held up a pair of pants. How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it! A tomato in an elevator. Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica? What did Bacon say to Tomato? What do you call a computer that sings? Then it dawned on me. What is heavy forward but not backward? What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? My roommate told me my clothes look gay. What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant? How did the blonde die ice fishing? She was hit by the zamboni. What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? No, it actually is. What do you call a gangsta snowman? What is the resemblance between a green apple and a red apple? What did the femur say to the patella? Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Where do bees go to the bathroom? At the BP station! What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed. Now what does the pig give you? And what does the fat cow give you? My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? God is watching the apples. Who earns a living driving their customers away? What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? What kind of jokes do you make in the shower? How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it! What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? But when I got home, all the signs were there. What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Is Google male or female? What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? It barked with de-light! Why are pirates called pirates? Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs? Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus! Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them. My grandfather died peacefully, in his sleep… …not screaming like the passengers in his car. What is the tallest building in the world? It has the most stories! What do you call a pig that does karate? What do you call a sleeping bull? How do you organize a space party? What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
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